It Is What It Is & It Ain’t What It Ain’t

It Is What It Is & It Ain’t What It Ain’t
By Raven Usher

I am always more than happy to avail myself to any body who has questions or needs advice on any subject under the transgender umbrella. It could be a person who has some unexplored level of gender dysphoria. Or it could be someone who is learning how to cope with a transgendered loved one. Or it could be an experienced TG who just wants a second opinion or needs help locating a resource. What ever the case I am happy to help. That is why my number is listed as a contact down at The Community Center. I am paying forward the help that others gave me.

Things get tricky with giving advice when it turns out that the person seeking said advice is not truly transgendered. It is a bit of a common misnomer to call any man who puts on feminine attire a tranny. But that is not the case. There are plenty of instances when that clothes do not make the she-male.

The most well known example of non-transgendered men in women clothing are drag queens. Drag is not a form of transgenderism. It is a performance art. And it is a time honored art at that. The history of drag goes back to when it was considered obscene to have a woman on display on the a stage. This forced men to take women’s roles. A good actor who portrayed a woman was a theatre idol. In today’s world the base intent of drag is in total contradiction to being transgendered. It is drag queens’ intention to be notice. Trannies want to blend in.

The trickier man in girl’s coverings to deal with is the one who is far more likely to confuse himself as transgendered when he is not. The forced femme sexual fetish. This is actually a form of BDSM called sissifcation (turning a man into a “sissy“). The man’s partner takes control of his life and puts him into a life style that is nearly identical to transgenderism and sometimes even progressing towards elements of transsexualism.

The man submits his willpower to his partner. He is then made to wear women’s under wear, clothing and to basically take on the gender expression of a woman. Some go as far as to end up living as a woman 24/7 and even having augmentation surgeries. This is where the confusion comes in. They are basically going through all the same procedures as a TG or TS.

The distinction is very specific and VERY important. The true tranny undergoes these procedures because there is an internal conflict between gender appearance and gender expression. Specifically being one gender being trapped in the body of another. The sexual fetish is undergoing those same procedures to fulfill external desires of physical and emotional pleasure sensations. In a nutshell, they are in it for the fun.

So when a man calls up and says his wife is turning him into a submissive girl who is expected to do as she is told… there is no advice on transgenderism from any source that is going to do this person any kind of good. He is not transgendered.

I am not trying to make any kind of good/bad judgment call on either condition. I am just straightening out what is and what is not because I have recently had an encounter with a fetish looking for guidance. Counseling a fetish as if he were a TG would be just as damaging as counseling a TG as a fetish. They are two completely different circumstances requiring two completely different approaches. Unfortunately, I am not much help with the sexual fetish genre`. I just have no advice to give.

Blessed be

All Polls Point North #1 & #2

See the rest of Adam & Steve's adventures on their own blog at http://allpollspointnorth.blogspot.com/

It Happens, Accept It

It Happens, Accept It
By Raven Usher

No your eyes do not deceive you. I am back. You may rejoice!
Pride is on us once again. It has me thinking about how lucky I have been to have found something so precious in the midst of some serious personal hardship.

Acceptance.

It is what we want. It is what we need. It is what we strive to achieve (especially during Pride). Acceptance is an elusive little bugger. You never know where it is going to pop up. Sometimes it seems like it has been purposely chased out of areas that should be its natural habitat. Some religious institutions have become notorious in their efforts to chase it from their ranks as if it was a plaque rat. Doctors offices, law enforcement, legal agencies, legislative bodies… all the institutions whose purposes are meant to help us all in our quests for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness keep showing galling examples of how acceptance can be a rare commodity.

Then, when you are not expecting it, acceptance pops up like a lone flower from a crack in a barren patch of pavement. It brings a spark of color and light to a place we suspect may be a tad bit inhospitable. It is always a wonderful thing when that suspicion is proven wrong.

I found acceptance in a place that has a reputation for unbridled violence among a gang of rough and tumble, high-speed, low-drag women (and a handful of men) who present an image that is down right formidable. The Treasure Valley Roller Girls (TVR) roller derby league.

You never know how things are going to go the first time you walk into a new group of people. The prospect of practicing a sport twice a week where one tends to get pretty butched up and the chances of staying dolled up and in passing mode are slim makes one even more timid about diving into the situation. From the first time that I witnessed the roller girls practicing I knew full well, even just standing on the sidelines, that I was going to be read. And I was.

And they did not care. They treated me exactly like every other fresh meat (that’s what they call the new girls who haven’t been drafted on to one of the four teams) skater in the league. Not one of them, skaters or referees, ever gave me the slightest reason to feel uncomfortable for even a moment. Although quite a few of them are pretty good at making me feel old with how effectively they skate circles around me.

And I am not the only LGBT person who has found that same acceptance among the ranks of the TVR. I am not about to go printing names without people’s permission. Suffice to say that Pride will have its observers at the roller derby.

And as coincidence has it, the TVR will be having a bout (a game) against a visiting team from Bend, Oregon at the same time we will be celebrating Pride. The bout will be at the Idaho Expo Center on Friday, June 13th. The doors open at 6pm and the bout starts at 7pm. It would be a great gesture of reciprocal support and acceptance for some of us from the LGBT community took some time during Pride to go down to the Expo and watch some roller derby. That and it is a hell of a good fun. Ticket information is available on the TVR website, http://www.treasurevalleyrollergirls.net/.

Blessed Be